We The People

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,—That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

— Declaration of Independence

Unalienable Rights are those rights which we have naturally. They were not granted to us by government. They are the rights (which have been itemized in our Bill of Rights) that our government, through our Constitution, has been charged with protecting. It is those very rights  which our government now seems to feel We The People should not have. It is not only our right but also our duty to this and future generations to hold our government accountable. Our Constitution was not created to limit We The People but rather to limit our government.

“Tyranny of the Urgent”

”When I say, “I don’t have time for this project,” I really mean, “I don’t consider it as important as something else I want or need to do.” For whatever reason, I have decided to use the hours another way—on a task I am pressured to do or on one that I enjoy. It may be planned or impulsive. Either way the issue is not simply lack of time but a choice I make.”

(Quote by Charles E. Hummel from his 1967 pamphlet entitled Tyranny of the Urgent. Source: http://www.olemissxa.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Tyranny-of-the-Urgent.pdf)

(Featured Image: Photo by Tara Winstead from Pexels)

My Body, Not My Choice?

If you do not have a choice in what goes IN to your body then you do not own or control your own body and “my body, my choice” no longer exists. 

FINDING THE ONE WHO “COMPLETES” YOU! Finding Purpose & Financial IQ – Part 5

by Rebecca Witherspoon, November 9, 2021

May I take you on a journey? I promise it will be worth it if you stay with me to the end. You’ll have to be brave on this journey. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s a journey fraught with failures, pain, terror, shame, and guilt, but also a relentless pursuit of something better, perseverance, never giving up, self discovery, epiphanies, love, and transformation. It’s ultimately a journey of learning how to take control of your life, experiencing transformation, and discovering the purpose of your life. Do I have your permission to take you on this journey? Great! Then let’s begin. 

Most people never recognize pivotal moments in their life, moments when the world stops for a breath of a moment and everything changes for them. One of mine occurred on April 12, 2000 at 2:30 pm. My life stopped at that exact moment for a nanosecond and my world forever changed. My family changed. My perspective changed. My faith shifted. My career made an abrupt change in direction. My friends changed. My geography changed. My future changed. My … life … completely … changed.

“You are hereby sentenced to two years prison with time already served credited toward that time; the possibility of parole in one year for good behavior; four years probation upon release; and lifetime sex offender registry.” That ruling was handed down in one courtroom. At the same time in the courtroom next door, the dissolution of my eight and a half year marriage from hell to a violent, emotionally abusive, borderline schizophrenic, pedophile was made final with the pounding of the gavel from the judge’s bench. The culmination of nearly a decade of a life lived in almost constant terror of not knowing from one day to the next if my children and I would be alive the next day came once and for all to a screeching halt. No more would I have to push aside my constant fear that my children would be harmed. No more would I have to come home to find the police and paramedics carting my then spouse away to a mental hospital to deal with his dangerous delusions. No more would I have my skin crawl at the very thought of my terrifying spouse touching me. No more would I have to put on a public mask that our life was perfect because we were in a very public Christian music ministry. No more …! 

At the time I had no idea just how pivotal a moment it was in my life. It would take several years of emotional struggle, intense personal development, agony of not knowing if the trauma perpetrated on my children would destroy them, and allowing myself time to heal to fully reveal the true impact of that moment on my life. You see up until that very moment, I had lived a life based on the myth that we must find the one who completes us in order to live a fulfilled life, and because I had no faith in myself I had unknowingly allowed my life to be a life of misery. The biggest lesson I learned by that experience was that mastering healthy relationships with others begins first with mastering a healthy relationship with myself! 

This episode is all about mastering the most important relationship you will ever have, the relationship you have with yourself! 

I’ve read many great books, seen hundreds of riveting and inspiring movies, and followed the lives of countless individuals who were ordinary people who took their greatest life obstacle and transformed it into their greatest asset to lead extraordinary lives of impact despite not having the “right” credentials. Stories like Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote the book Eat, Pray, Love, or Chris Gardner (played by Will Smith) in the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”, or Gianna Jessen who was a baby that survived a botched abortion, or Nicholas James Vujicic born with no legs or arms. That I was fascinated by these (and many other) stories doesn’t begin to describe the profound impact they had on my thinking. I am in awe of the incredible courage of these people overcoming incredible obstacles to utterly change the very fabric of their lives and to positively impact thousands and millions of people around the world. But, despite the deep emotional impact these stories had on me, my life seemed to just continue down a depressing path to nowhere. Regardless of the many examples staring me in the face of the possibility for transformation, I had no belief that it was actually possible in my life. I had no faith in myself ever succeeding. In my own mind, there was no way out for me. I was stuck! In my own mind I needed to just suck it up and accept things the way they were and quit dreaming about what was never going to happen anyway. In my own mind, who was I to think that my story was even worth telling? Can you relate? Have you ever been there in your own mind? I know I can’t be the only one who has ever felt that way.

Hopeless, utterly hopeless! But then when I wasn’t even looking for it, a spark. A glimmer. The very beginning of a crack appeared in the door that had always held me at bay. A mustard seed of hope fell on the soil of my mind and heart and began to burrow. That seed was planted by one couple to whom I will forever be grateful. That seed was planted at an absolute low in my life. A time when all hope seemed to be utterly gone, but for some reason I kept telling myself that even though nothing else had ever helped, and this probably wouldn’t either, what the hell, it couldn’t hurt. Eric Hoffer said in his book The True Believer that “[f]ear of the future causes us to lean against and cling to the present [even a present filled with great pain], while faith in the future renders us perceptive [and open] to change.” Change of any kind is built on hope, and it’s essential that our future is based in hope, because without hope there can be no faith which is necessary to move forward and change. What started as a mustard seed of hope with regard to losing some weight, ballooned into transformation of my mind, my emotions, my relationships, my finances, my time, and my health (that one is an on-going transformation I work on daily). 

Singer Randy Travis sang the following words years ago:

Last night I dug your picture out from our old dresser drawer. I sat it on the table and I talked to it till four. I read some old love letters right up to the break of dawn. Yeah, I’ve been sittin’ alone, diggin’ up bones. … I’m diggin’ up bones, I’m digging up bones! Exhuming things that’s better left alone. And I’m resurrecting mem’ries of a love that’s dead and gone. Yeah, tonight I’m sittin’ alone, diggin’ up bones.

—“Diggin’ Up Bones” Song by Randy Travis

It’s said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. I’ve also heard insanity described as going around and around the same mountain expecting to reach a different destination. Still others have described insanity as a merry-go-round with no exit. For a period of time in my own life, I can truly say I was certifiably insane. Not the bat-shit crazy kind of insane, but rather the I’m-too-afraid-to-change-but-I-want-things-different kind of insane. Through the years I would sit and listen to that song while brooding and rehashing the past, as though I could somehow change the outcome of past events. I was stuck squarely in the past. I was unable to truly live in the present or to look forward because of constantly looking backward. I was certifiably “insane”!

When I began to recognize that I was repeatedly going around the same mountain expecting a different outcome, I was fortunate to come across a series of books which impacted my thinking and ultimately led me down a path to healing, transformation, and finally coming to a place where I thoroughly enjoy my own company. The first book was Battlefield of the mindby Joyce Meyer, which helped me to finally gain custody of my mind. The second book was Me and My Big Mouth! by Joyce Meyer, which helped me to once and for all tame my very rebellious tongue and begin to speak words of life into my life. The next book was Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, which helped me to begin to set healthy boundaries on my relationships, many of which had been up to that point quite dysfunctional. And the last book was Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages, which dramatically improved how I interacted and communicated with those around me. I did not find these books all at the same time. Each one came into my life exactly when I most needed and was ready for them. 

Did you know your mind is a battlefield? When was the last time you replayed an incident or conversation over and over in your mind trying to figure out how it could have gone better? When was the last time you had an argument with someone where the argument took place entirely in your mind? When was the last time thoughts of depression overtook you and you just could not pull yourself out of the doldrums? Or your mind kept screaming at you about how you are not worthy? Not pretty? Too fat? Too skinny? Yep! I knew it. It probably happens to you every single day of your life to one degree or another. 

Start thinking about what you’re thinking! You must gain custody of your mind. If you don’t have custody, then who (or what) does? Is it someone who offended you? Someone who abused your? Someone who committed a crime against you? Someone who told you that you weren’t smart enough? Pretty enough? Strong enough? Rich enough? Why in the world are you allowing THEM to control YOUR mind? Especially if they aren’t even in your life anymore? You must take back custody of your mind and your thoughts if you ever hope to improve the quality of your life and your relationships. 

Once you gain custody of your mind you should also reflect on what you are allowing to come out of your mouth. Are you forever critical and fault finding? Do you gossip to help you feel better about your own life? Do you frequently use language that is offensive to others? Do you find yourself calling yourself stupid or ignorant or not good enough? Or, are you encouraging and uplifting? Do you use words of affirmation toward yourself and others? What your mind and heart dwell on pours forth out of your mouth. Reflect on what’s coming out of your mouth. If you find you don’t like it, then develop a strategy to conquer your tongue!

Boundaries are not a punishment, but rather a realigning of healthy interactions between you and others as well as on the activity you choose to do. It’s you identifying for yourself exactly what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior toward your.  It’s you identifying beforehand what you are willing and unwilling to do. It frees you from all the negative emotional struggles that can distract you from living a healthy and vibrant life. It helps you gain custody of your life and your responses (not reactions) to how others interact with you. Boundaries are not chains to bind, but rather armor to protect you from the arrows life can sometimes throw at you, as well as to strengthen you to achieve all that you desire to achieve. Boundaries free you to enjoy healthy relationships with those you choose to have in your life. 

According to extensive research that Gary Chapman conducted, there are five primary “languages” that people respond to including words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Do you have any idea what speaks most to you? Red roses is a very traditional gift and expression of love. Who wouldn’t want to receive them? Well … ME! What I found spoke most to me were acts of service (the little things people do to  show they care like taking out the trash without being asked), physical touch (a hug, ְa pat on the back, an arm draped around my shoulder, sitting close to me without crowding me), and quality time (that time spent with someone where they are the focus of your attention and not your phone). 

“But wait, Rebecca! You said you were going to talk about finding the one who completes me! How does all this help me do that?”

Great question! The short and very simple answer is that if you are looking to find completion and fulfillment through someone else, you will be waiting a very long time. While having a companion to walk our life’s path can be sweet, they are not necessary to live fulfilled and impactful lives. The relationship you have with yourself on the other hand can either make for a life of misery and pain, or for a vibrant and fully satisfying life. So, are you ready to meet, get to know, and make a lifelong friend with yourself? 

(This post inspired by and quoted from the highly acclaimed books Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend; Joyce Meyer’s books Me and My Big Mouth! and Battlefield of the mind; and Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages.)

THE LIVING DEAD! Finding Purpose & Financial IQ – Part 3

If you retired today, exactly how would you spend your time? Where would you live? What would you do? Where would you go? What would you have? Who would you spend it with? What would your retirement look like? 

Greg, a very rich man, was asked the following question and responded: “‘So, of all your businesses [that you started and ran], which did you like the most?’ The answer took less than a second of thought. ‘None of them.’ [Greg] explained that he had spent more than 30 years with people he didn’t like to buy things he didn’t need. Life had become a succession of trophy wives—he was on lucky number three—expensive cars, and other empty bragging rights. Mark was one of the living dead. This is exactly where we don’t want to end up.”

This episode was so important that I took my time to get it right! Pun most definitely intended! So far in this series, we’ve learned the foundations for mastering our emotions and our finances. Today is all about mastering our time.

The truly sad thing about Greg’s story above is that it is the typical story of most Americans today. We are born, grow up, go to school, taught that the way to get ahead is to get a job, buy a home, a car, have a family, save for our retirement so that we will have enough funds to pay for our needs in our old age and maybe do some of the things we’ve always wanted. Unfortunately, the reality is that most of us don’t save enough, live the best and most productive years of our life working hard for others at a job we don’t really like but pays the bills (maybe), only to find that when we reach retirement age we don’t have enough put away so we take on another job just to make ends meet, and still don’t get to do many of the things we put off doing until we retire. Result? A life never truly lived to its fullest. A life of constant struggle, constant stress, and constant regret. We become the Living Dead.

But what if we make a choice right now, this moment, that enough is enough, and that we are going to find a solution that allows us to earn income doing something we actually like, that earns us not only enough to pay our everyday needs and bills but also enough that we are able to regularly take what Tim Ferris of The 4-Hour Workweek calls mini-retirements throughout our life doing most, if not all, of the things we’ve always wanted to do? What if we don’t have to put off until our old age the things on our bucket list? How would that change your life? 

What is a mini-retirement? It is when you sample your deferred-life plan reward before working 40 years for it. Here’s an example. Retirement Goal: I want to travel the world when I retire. Mini-retirement: I plan for small, periodic excursions to various locations on my bucket list throughout my working years. I experience the magic and wonder now rather than waiting 40 years to even begin my journey.

There is a “formula” that you can choose to use to help you transform your life so that you don’t have to end up like Greg. You can actually begin to do many of your bucket list items now while you can actually enjoy them. You can choose to work at something that you enjoy and pick the people that you want to work with rather than being told what work you will do and who you will work with. You can earn an income that not only provides your basic everyday needs but also provides you with the ability to ensure your retirement will not be spent greeting folks at the entrance to Walmart just so you can put food on your table. You will be able to LIVE the life that you have always wanted.

That formula is the D.E.A.L. formula.

D = Definition

E = Eliminate

A = Automation

L = Liberation

D = DEFINITION

The LIVING can be separated from the LIVING DEAD based on their goals, which reflect very distinct priorities and life philosophies. In previous episodes and series I have talked about transforming our mindset and identifying our big WHY or WHYs for each and every thing we do and want. Our why is the real backbone and reason for working toward specific goals and dreams. It’s the fuel that keeps us going when times get tough. How we DEFINE our WHY and goals is extremely important because the subtle differences in the wording of our WHY and goals can completely change the necessary actions (steps) required to fulfill what at a glance may appear to be similar goals. Here’s some examples of what I mean:

General Goal 1: To work for yourself. 

Revised Goal 1: To have others work for you.

General Goal 2: To retire early or young. 

Revised Goal 2: “To distribute recovery periods and adventures (mini-retirements) throughout life on a regular basis and recognize that inactivity is not the goal. Doing that which excites you is.”

General Goal 3: To have freedom from doing that which you dislike. 

Revised Goal 3: “To have freedom from doing that which you dislike, but also the freedom and resolve to pursue your dreams without reverting to work for work’s sake. After years of repetitive work, you will often need to dig hard to find your passions, redefine your dreams, and revive hobbies that you let atrophy to near extinction. The goal is not to simply eliminate the bad, which does nothing more than leave you with a vacuum, but to pursue and experience the best in the world.”

Each of the general and revised goals above are similar, and yet the wording of the revised goals are specifically defined in a way that subtly yet dramatically shifts the focus and end goal. Here’s the little secret that no one seems to understand: “If you can free your time and location, your money is automatically worth 3–10 times as much.” Which means you will actually need less than you think to bring your dreams to life.

When you sit down to define the goals and objectives you are seeking as well as your WHY for wanting to achieve them, take the necessary time to really consider how you define them. Be extremely specific and focused in exactly what you are wanting to achieve. Your everyday life and future depends on clear and specific definitions so that your path becomes clear. This is the first step to entering the land of the LIVING!

E = ELIMINATE

“Just a few words on time management: Forget all about it. In the strictest sense, you shouldn’t be trying to do more in each day, trying to fill every second with a work fidget of some type. … Being busy is most often used as a guise for avoiding the few critically important but uncomfortable actions. … Now that you have defined what you want to do with your time, you have to free that time. The trick, of course, is to do so while maintaining or increasing your income. … Effectiveness is doing the things that get you closer to your goals. Efficiency is performing a given task (whether important or not) in the most economical manner possible. Being efficient without regard to effectiveness is the default mode of the universe.”

Two Truisms:

  1. Just because you do something unimportant well does not make it important.
  2. Just because something requires a lot of time does not make that task important.

There is a principle in economics which is important when it comes to determining what tasks you should eliminate and what tasks you should focus most of your attention on. It is the 80/20 Principle and it goes something like this:

  • 80% of the wealth and income is produced and possessed by 20% of the population
  • 80% of the outputs result from 20% of the inputs

Here is an exercise on how you can implement this principle in your life and your work. 

Sit down and dissect your work/business and personal life through the lenses of two questions: 

  1. Which 20% of sources are causing 80% of my problems and unhappiness?
  2. Which 20% of sources are resulting in 80% of my desired outcomes and happiness?

It sounds so simple and yet it takes courage to be brutally honest with yourself with your answers. The goal is to find where you are being inefficient in order to eliminate your inefficiencies, and to find where you are strong so you can multiply your strengths.

Examples: 

  • Sales – determine which of your customers produce 80% or more of your income and yet require only 20% or less of your time. This will help you identify those customers who have required most of your time for little or no return. This will help you identify your maximum ROI (return on investment — time) so that you can eliminate the wasteful time and focus on maximizing your results.
  • Advertising – identify which advertisements are generating 80% or more of the revenue, find the commonalities, maximize on those commonalities, and eliminate all the rest.

You can do this same exercise for virtually all areas of your life including relationships (who are your high maintenance time suckers), housework, your health, your hobbies, your habits, etc. Find your time wasters and your most important priorities. Once you identify them, maximize the priorities and begin to eliminate, or significantly reduce, your time wasters. “It’s easy to get caught in a flood of minutiae, and the key to not feeling rushed is remembering that lack of time is actually lack of priorities.” If you truly want to become both effective and efficient, and finally gain control over and mastery of your time, then taking the time to do this exercise is absolutely essential. Don’t procrastinate! Don’t find excuses for why you don’t have time to learn how to take back time in your life. Just do it!

A = AUTOMATION

“Most entrepreneurs don’t start out with automation as a goal. This leaves them open to mass confusion in a world where each business guru contradicts the next.” This applies to everyone, not just entrepreneurs. 

Maybe you’re a stay-at-home mom, and you have a number of kids (let’s say 3) you have chosen to homeschool them as you’re not pleased with the quality of education offered at your local public school and you can’t afford the private schools. Your husband works full time. You also work from home to earn much needed income. Your time is precious but it’s difficult to juggle raising 3 kids, working part time from home, keeping the house clean, the family fed, and still have time for quality time with your spouse and kids as well as some much needed “me” time. 

Or, maybe you’re a full-time entrepreneur who is just getting started building a business. As you’re building your business you still need to bring in some income so you have a full time job that provides you income and a much needed benefits package. You are determined to be successful in building your business but this leaves very little time for all the other things in your life, like time with friends and family, keeping your house clean and neat, cooking healthy meals, and getting adequate exercise and rest. I could name more examples, but those will suffice for purposes of this section.

In both examples, the full time mom and the entrepreneur both have a time management problem. They have come to realize there isn’t enough day for everything that needs to be accomplished each day. They are chronically exhausted, chronically stressed, and chronically losing ground on reaching their desired goals. Both have strong whys, have identified the necessary steps to reach their goals, and have even identified the highest priorities for achieving their goals. But, there’s one thing they have not done. They have not eliminated, or in these cases delegated, the time wasters that may still be important but take massive time away from the most important priorities. 

Enter automation. 

The first time I heard the term automation, my first thoughts were a factory assembly line where robotic hands and arms were programmed to assemble parts of some car or appliance or some other such product. It was cold and impersonal. It was more about the negative aspects of automation—the taking away of jobs from humans and handing them over to the robots. Automation did not initially signal something positive. But this is not the type of automation we are going to learn about today.

Automation in the context of this blog post is the act of becoming a Remote-Control CEO. Whether it be the CEO of your family, your job, or your business, the idea is essentially the same. Remember the 80/20 Principle? Becoming the Remote-Control CEO of your life is simply learning how to delegate those duties in your life that take up 80% of your time and yet only produce a 20% ROI, so that you can focus more of your time on those things that produce an 80% ROI. 

In the examples above, the full-time mom might want to hire someone to clean the house once a week, cook evening meals 5 days a week (those days she’s most busy with the kids and their schooling), hire a  virtual assistant or bookkeeper who can help with the tedious and time consuming parts of her at-home  business that don’t produce income but are necessary to maintain good records and organization. The entrepreneur who still works a full time job could do many of the same things and even expand on the delegation a bit by hiring an answering service to screen all in-coming business calls, a virtual assistant who has clear guidelines for how to respond to various inquiries and when to escalate up the chain for you to personally respond to. 

Some of the most successful remote-control CEOs began implementing these types of solutions very early in their businesses and the results are that these remote-control CEOs are able to spend TIME with their loved ones doing the things that are most important to them rather than being a slave to the office with their family taking a back seat until they retire and they’ve missed out on all the truly important parts of their lives. Another benefit is that when implemented both effectively and efficiently the financial benefits can be significant.

If you’d like to learn more about how to implement automation in your life and business, send me an email or private message. Every situation is different. Your goals are not my goals. In order to determine what’s right in your case, you must first DEFINE what your end goal is. Once you have done that, it’s just a matter of then determining what type of automation will move you in the most effective and efficient manner toward your desired end goal.

L = LIBERATION

It is far better for a man to go wrong in freedom than to go right in chains.—Thomas H. Huxley

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. —Robert Frost

If there is one positive we can take from the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s this. Being confined to an office 5 days a week, 8 to 10 hours each day, with only 2 to 4 weeks vacation and some regular holidays off each year, has forever changed. Companies have discovered that many of their employees can be just as (if not more) productive working from home than being tied to an office, company overhead can be dramatically reduced as a result of more employees working remotely, and company profits can increase as a result of less overhead and more productive and happy employees. It’s a win-win. The employer wins with happier, more loyal, more productive employees, and higher profits. Employees win because their work-life balance is dramatically improved without having to change careers, reduce their income and benefits, or take big risks to achieve a healthy work-life balance.

Here are some examples of folks I follow who have implemented (whether consciously or unconsciously) D.E.A.L. in their lives. They are now living their dream life, at a time in their life when they can actually enjoy it, are making a good income, have a very healthy work-life balance, get to prioritize their family over their work, and get to go on mini-retirements regularly—in some cases mini-retirements are an every day occurrence. I encourage you to check some of them out. 

Kara and Nate: https://youtube.com/c/KaraandNate

Endless Adventures: https://youtube.com/c/Theendlessadventure

Tiny House Giant Journey: https://youtube.com/c/TinyHouseGiantJourney

Downshiftology: https://youtube.com/c/Downshiftology

Tom MacDonald: https://youtube.com/c/TomMacDonaldOfficial

The Doers Way: https://youtube.com/c/Graceleverbiz

I could give a thousand examples of folks who have discovered and implemented D.E.A.L. in their life. Ultimately, I believe everyone is searching for true liberation in their life. What that liberation looks like in each life will be different. The path you walk to achieve your own personal liberation will be unique to your end goal. The question is not IF you will achieve liberation, it’s whether or not you are WILLING to do what is necessary to implement D.E.A.L. in your life.

I am a part-time school bus driver in my community. It’s something I enjoy and is a way for me to give back to my community in a meaningful way. I am privileged to be one of the first adult faces the kids on my bus see 5 days a week. I get to see my kids when they are at their best and sometimes when they’re not at their best. One student in particular sticks out in my mind. He has been a “problem” for other drivers and has been suspended from school a few times over some behavioral issues. I don’t have the problems with this student that so many others have. I find him to be funny, charismatic, and someone who displays leadership qualities. I told him one day that I believed he had the makings of a leader. He got a little cocky when I said that (I knew he would). I followed my initial observation with one question: “The question is will you be a good leader?” That caught him a bit by surprise, and his friends who were sitting nearby heard our brief conversation. Only time will tell if he chooses to direct his leadership qualities in a positive direction, but I am hopeful that he will. The seed has been planted. My hope and prayer is that there will be many to water that seed and eventually cultivate whatever grows from that seed into a bountiful harvest. 

I’m going to make a similar observation and ask you a similar question. You now have the foundational tools and knowledge necessary to begin on your own path to liberation. Are you willing to awaken from the Living Dead and do what is necessary to transform your life by mastering your time and walking a path into Life? No one can force you to make this choice. It’s yours to make or not make. Know this though, by not making a choice you have made a choice by default to remain the Living Dead.

(Today’s episode is inspired by and quoted from Tim Ferris’ book The 4-Hour Workweek.)

Being “Financially Fat” Finding Purpose & Financial IQ – Part 2

—by Rebecca Witherspoon, October 24, 2021

You pay your bills on time, you have a nice home, a nice car, nice cloths, and may even go on some nice vacations. By all appearances you are living the American Dream. You feel confident because you (and maybe your spouse, if you’re married) have a great job that pays you well. Life is comfortable and you have everything you ever wanted. Life looks great … from the outside. 

Take a closer look at this picture though and cracks in the foundation become visible. 

  • big home mortgage or big fat rent
  • fat car payments
  • large student loan debt
  • bloated credit cards
  • anorexic savings
  • no panned budget
  • starving retirement (if any)
  • little if any protection against disasters
Types of Debt

It will take very little to knock this “secure” family to its financial knees because there is no foundation to keep it standing at the first major crisis. Unfortunately, this scenario is a very typical American family—it may be you, your son or daughter, your parents, your siblings, your best friend, your neighbors, your boss, your coworkers. They are financially fat and yet, without even realizing it, they are just one paycheck away from financial bankruptcy and ruin.

One of the 4 major factors that keeps people from winning in money is not realizing they are even in trouble in the first place. “You need to see the need in order to even know you need to make dramatic change. If you are apathetic because everything seems ‘just fine,’ then you will be unwilling to make the huge changes required to get huge results. You are where you are right now financially as the sum total of the decisions you’ve made up to this point. Few people have the courage to seek out change. It is human nature to want what you want, and to want it now; it is also a sign of immaturity. Being willing to delay pleasure for a greater result [and pleasure] is a sign of maturity.” 

Debt is part of our “I want it now” mindset as a culture—also known as instant gratification. But until you are willing to commit yourself 100% to achieve financial peace and freedom, it will be nothing but a pipe dream. Too often people choose to believe myths over facts as a way to justify their continued unhealthy spending habits. Here are some of the primary myths many live by, never realizing until it’s sometimes too late that it’s these very myths that are destroying them financially.

  1. MYTH: Debt is a good tool to create prosperity. FACT: Debt actually adds considerable risk to life, and it does not generate prosperity. “They also never tell you that the genuinely wealthy people among us rarely use debt as a tool. The truth is that the wealthy use their income as a wealth-building tool, rather than sending their money out to debt payments. The best way to build wealth is to become and stay debt-free.” Begin TODAY to develop a mindset that if you cannot afford to pay cash for something today, then you cannot afford to pay cash plus interest later.
  2. MYTH: You are helping a friend or relative when you loan that person money. FACT: You are likely to seriously strain or even destroy your relationship with a friend or relative to whom you loan money. Learn how to just say no. Rather than loan money to a friend or relative, experience the joy of giving—if you are in a position to do so—without expectation of ever receiving anything back. Think about this truth for just a moment—if you cannot afford to give money as a gift, then you most certainly cannot afford to give money as a loan. If your friend or relative insists that they will “pay you back,” simply tell them that you appreciate their willingness to do so, but that you would much rather have the blessing of knowing that you were able to help a friend or loved one who happens to be in temporary need. It’s not charity, but rather a gift. If they feel its truly important for them to pay you back, then tell them rather than returning the money to you, to pay that money forward by helping someone else who needs help. Result? Your friend or loved one has learned the act of both receiving and giving.
  3. MYTH: Car payments are a way of life and a person will always have one. FACT: Car payments are typically your next largest monthly expense after your monthly rent or mortgage payment. “If a person invested $495 [the average monthly car payment] a month from age twenty-five to sixty-five at 12 percent (the seventy-year stock-market average), the person would have $5,881,799.14. That’s a lot of car!” Would you rather (1) have the bright, shiny toy now that loses much of its value as soon as you drive it off the lot, never gains value over time, and is the proverbial fire in which you throw your money to burn, or (2) would you rather pay cash for a decent used (and sometimes new) car every few years, and invest that large monthly car payment each month knowing that you will have a secure retirement? Your choice.
  4. MYTH: Credit cards help you build your credit. FACT: When you use a credit card, you are taking out a loan. Period. You have spent your future income before you have ever even earned it, and you will pay a premium price to instantly secure now what you cannot afford. A debit card, on the other hand, does everything a credit card can do except for one thing and one thing only—a debit card will never get you into debt. You must create a game plan now for how to curb your spending if you every wish to become financially free. Otherwise, as soon as you pay off one debt you will just create new debt. 

SECRETS OF THE RICH:

  1. “The secrets of the rich don’t exist because the principles aren’t a secret. The secrets to financial peace may be difficult to do, but they are not complicated to understand or implement.”
  2. “Don’t be under the illusion that the government, which is highly inept and dim-witted when it comes to money management, is going to take great care of you in your golden years. Things will not be okay unless you make them that way. If you wait until you are sixty-five or seventy years old to “plan” for retirement, you will have missed the boat.”
  3. “I have never met a person who made a six-figure income by working just a few hours a week at anything.” It takes consistent hard work over a sustained period time to achieve financial peace and financial freedom. It does not happen over night. If you are unwilling to do whatever it takes to achieve financial peace and freedom, then reading this blog post will do nothing for you.
  4. “If you’re going to be involved in the stock market, work with folks who have a good and long track record of success.” You don’t have time to learn what they already know, so instead leverage their knowledge to your advantage.

QUESTION:

Okay, Rebecca. This all sounds great but it doesn’t help me know what I can do to get rid of the financial fat. Is it even possible to lose weight fast? 

ANSWER:

Absolutely! It’s called the Debt Snowball. The real question is whether you are willing to do what’s necessary to shed that excess weight? As previously stated above, the answer is simple, but implementing the answer will take a strong WHY on your part to remain FOCUSed on your end goal. When temptations come along (and they will come along) to spend money you have not yet earned, your WHY will help you to just say no because your goal will be more important to you than the momentary instant pleasure.

Steps to Shedding the Financial Fat:

Step 1: List your debts from smallest to largest regardless of interest rate.

Step 2: Make minimum payments on all your debts except the smallest.

Step 3: Pay as much as possible on your smallest debt. Once that debt is gone, take its payment and apply it to the next smallest debt while continuing to make minimum payments on the rest.

Step 4: Repeat until each debt is paid in full.

The Debt Snowball Illustrated

“[W]hen you ditch the smallest debt first, you see progress—quick! That debt is out of your life forever. The second debt will soon follow and then the next and the next. Suddenly, you’re putting hundreds of dollars a month toward your debts instead of small incremental minimum payments. When you see your snowball actually working, you’ll be more likely to stick to it. The next thing you know, you’ll be screaming “I’m debt-free!” in no time.”

Once you have reached the goal of becoming debt free, you will have the financial peace and freedom to use your income to build your dreams rather than to build the dreams of others. But do not become complacent in your newfound freedom or you may find yourself back at square one again, needing to claw your way out of a new and possibly deeper hole of your own making.

It’s a wonderful feeling to live free from the slavery of debt ruling over your life and to know that should the unthinkable happen you have the everything you need to get you and your family through unexpected hard times. Seeking out a qualified financial professional is one of the best steps you can take to ensure a secure future. (Caution: not all financial professionals are the same. Look only for those with solid reputations for getting results, doing what’s best for their clients, and who have a legal fiduciary duty to work for your benefit and not theirs.)

In the first episode of this series, we talked about facing our demons. Fear was the primary demon discussed, and we learned that D.A.T.A. was what we need to transform from a person who is led by F.E.A.R. into a person living life to the fullest.

D.A.T.A.:

  1. DECIDE what you want, and what your why is.
  2. Take ACTION
  3. TRACK and pay attention to your results to determine what is working and what is not working.
  4. Continue to ADJUST your actions until you find what works.

As I said in episode one, wishing and deciding are two completely different things. “I wish I didn’t have all this debt” gets you nowhere. “I will pay off all my debt by this time next year by implementing the debt snowball method” allows your mind to begin to focus the necessary decisions (choices) required to achieve your desired goal.

Three Decisions That Control Your Destiny

  1. What you decide to focus on
  2. What you decide things mean to you (aka your beliefs)
  3. What you decide to do to create the results you desire.

Success is the result of good choices. Good choices are the result of experience. Experience is often the result of bad choices. Learn from your past mistakes so you can use that experience to help you make better choices that will in turn lead you to the goal you are seeking. When you make choices that are directly linked to your WHY then you must be so committed to your goal that you leave absolutely zero option for failure. You will keep adjusting your choices until you achieve your desired goal!

If you would like more information on how to start securing your present and your future, please send me an email.

(This post inspired by and quoted from Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover and https://www.ramseysolutions.com/debt/how-the-debt-snowball-method-works)

Safe = Regret

—by Rebecca Witherspoon, October 21, 2021

Playing it “safe” in life typically leads to the end of a life filled with many regrets of “what if …” Being smart in how you conduct your life doesn’t necessarily mean playing things “safe.” It does mean gathering all the relevant information for any given endeavor and then deciding if the price is worth the anticipated results. 

Don’t come to the end of your life full of regrets. Live life to the fullest knowing you have gone for your dreams. Who knows, along your path you just might achieve things you never even imagined were possible when you first started out!

ATTITUDE FOR SUCCESS

—by Rebecca Witherspoon, October 19, 2021

SIMPLE TRUTHS!

  • It may be simple, but it ain’t easy. 
  • It may be easier to give up than to push through, but then you’ve just wasted your time. 
  • The rewards received as a result of allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for a little while far outweigh what you would otherwise experience for a lifetime of giving up!! 

YOU CAN DO IT!! 

  • I believe in you! 
  • If your belief is small or virtually non-existent right now, then borrow my belief until you have gained your own belief!