By: Rebecca Witherspoon, August 1, 2025
After the first post in this series, a number of people reached out to say they’ve seen things—moments, interactions, red flags—that made their stomach turn. But they didn’t speak up. Or if they tried, their concerns went nowhere. Some admitted they were still afraid to say anything even now because they’ve personally witnessed anyone who spoke up experience coordinated and very public smearing of their name and reputation. The result was that people quit talking about what was happening out of fear they would be the next target. They went to ground to protect themselves.
That hesitation isn’t surprising. Honestly, I get it.
Even when people want to speak up, even when every fiber in their body is screaming that something just is not right, there’s often a voice in the back of their mind that says: “What if no one believes me?” “What if I make it worse for the kids?” “What if I become the target?”
And those aren’t irrational fears—they’re rooted in very real lived experiences of many people who have spoken up before. Many of us have seen what happens when someone tries to call out abuse or neglect. Too often, nothing changes for the better—and the person who raises the alarm ends up isolated or even punished. Sometimes, even the children suffer more. I know. I’ve been there. I’ve just gotten to the point where I’m no longer willing to be silent. I’ve already had my name and reputation smeared by malicious lies for months, what’s a few more false attacks against me. I know who I am. I know the truth. I know how to protect myself. People who actually know me also know the truth and see through the many lies floating around on various social media platforms. I will not stand by while I see children suffering needlessly.
I’ve lived through the fear that overwhelms you when you’re living in the middle of a crisis like this. When I finally got to the point where escape was the only option, I was petrified. Not just because of what my children and I had endured, but because of what could come next. The questions kept running through my mind, “What would happen to me or my children if I spoke out? What if the courts don’t believe us? What if the school looks the other way? What if our community doesn’t want to hear the truth?“
Unfortunately, some of those fears came true for us.
Even after my then-husband went to prison for what he did to my family, we still experienced re-victimization by some community members and certain school personnel who didn’t want to believe the truth. People who preferred to cling to the false image they had of him—charming, personable, smooth talker—rather than face the ugly truth that he had shattered my family from the inside.
And now, all these years later, I’m watching something that feels hauntingly familiar play out in our community.
I watch as people rally around someone they barely know. I see them trying to elevate someone to a position of trust and leadership—despite very public and concerning patterns in their background. Some have chosen to see only what they want to see—passionate, well spoken, and maybe even a bit “fiery.” Some have chosen to ignore the rest. Or they excuse it. Or they publicly attack anyone who tries to tell them there’s more to the story.
Some of those warning signs have been present for a long time. Some have come out more recently. And yet, the louder the truth is whispered, the harder some folks work to drown the truth out. Even after some information was publicly revealed, I’ve seen certain people choose to brush off the warnings and prop this person up. It’s almost as if this person is seen as a useful tool to achieve a particular political agenda—because they may believe this person can be manipulated enough to help push their agenda forward, no matter who gets hurt in the process. In many respects I truly feel sorry for this person because they probably believe they are the one in control when in fact it’s actually others in the background who have been pulling the strings and pushing their agenda in our community for years. And when they are no longer useful, what then?
But this blog series isn’t about that person. This series is about the children—the innocents caught in the crosshairs. And about how we, as a community, either become their advocates or bystanders to what they are experiencing. And right now, some very brave people are trying to speak up about what’s been happening to these kids—they have been silenced or dismissed for far too long. They deserve better. And so do the children. All of this is public information available to anyone … if you’re open to learning the truth.
But we cannot help the children if we cannot even admit that there’s a problem. And we certainly cannot protect them if we continue protecting the image of someone who has been accused of harming and may be continuing to harm them—directly or through proxies.
I know how heavy this is. How complicated. How personal it feels for some. I also know how easy it is to look away, or say it’s not your place. Or tell yourself the system will take care of it.
But if the system has already failed? Then what?
We have to talk about what fear does to people. How it paralyzes us. How it turns silence into a shield. How good people end up doing nothing, not because they don’t care, but because they’re overwhelmed, uncertain, and afraid of doing the wrong thing.
This is not about guilt or shame. It’s about breaking the paralysis of fear and silence. It’s about making room for uncomfortable truths. It’s about standing with the people who are telling the truth—even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it makes us uncomfortable.
Because the cost of silence is always borne by those who can least afford it … the children.
And that’s why I’ll keep writing. Because I’ve been the parent who tried to protect her children while the world looked away. And I’ve watched what happens when nobody wants to believe the worst—even when the evidence is right in front of them.
More is coming. And I promise you—what’s next in this series is going to be hard to read. But it’s even harder to live through. And too many already have.
If Something Feels Wrong, Trust Your Gut.
Children can’t always speak up—but you can. You can be their voice. If you see or sense something that feels off, don’t ignore your instincts. Say something—but do so responsibly. This isn’t about personal vendettas or disliking someone. It’s about protecting the vulnerable and doing what’s right. You can make a report anonymously to help safeguard children and families—without exposing yourself to retaliation.
In Dane County, Wisconsin, suspected abuse and/or neglect can be reported 24/7 to:
Dane County Child Protective Services (CPS)
📞 (608) 261-5437
🌐 https://dcf.wisconsin.gov/reportabuse
Your name can remain confidential—even to the person being reported.
Together, we can create a safer, more accountable community—one voice at a time.
Musings By Rebecca 