When Silence Costs Too Much

Speaking truth with grace—even when it’s hard, unwelcome, or misunderstood.

By: Rebecca Witherspoon, July 3, 2025 

There’s a temptation—especially after you’ve walked through grief, forgiveness, and clarity—to believe that silence is the safest, most graceful option. That by staying quiet, you can somehow avoid conflict, preserve relationships, and keep peace. Silence has a cost. It can become a quiet consent for someone to continue their harmful behaviors. It can leave misinformation unchecked, allow division to deepen, and give weight to voices that thrive in the absence of challenge.

Speaking up isn’t always easy. It’s never without risk. Sometimes it makes you vulnerable to misunderstanding, criticism, and even worse. And sometimes, it feels like your words don’t matter—they fall on deaf ears or get twisted into something unrecognizable. I know, I’ve lived it.

But there is power in speaking up. Not with screams or calling out with venom. Not to seek to dominate or shame. And certainly not to stoop to the same level as those acting in harmful ways. Rather, speaking truth with intention, clarity, and courage. Refusing to allow your silence to become complicity.

Using your voice wisely means knowing when to speak—and when to listen. It means balancing courage with compassion, standing firm without pushing others away. It means remembering that words can either build bridges or walls. I chose a long time ago to be a builder, but recently, there are those that keep burning the bridges and building walls. And at times I have succumbed to pouring gas on the flames started by others. Unfortunately, these same people refuse to hear how their actions are harming people and have created an environment where dialogue and healing is nearly impossible. When those they seek to harm refuse to bow to their demands and instead speak truth into the hatred being spewed, they double and triple down in their harmful actions. No matter how much irrefutable truth is revealed to them, the truth is not what they are after—retribution for perceived wrongs (valid or not) is what they seek and nothing short of total destruction will appease their hatred and anger.

Over the course of many years, I’ve learned that leadership isn’t always about being the loudest. Sometimes it’s about being the calmest. Sometimes it’s about speaking up when it feels hardest and scariest, because you know that your silence will cost far more than your momentary discomfort.

We owe it to ourselves—and our communities—to use our voices not to tear each other down, but to build each other up and to heal. To invite dialogue where there is division. To shine light in the corners where shadows gather.

The cost of silence is far too high.

The power of speaking up—when wielded together with grace—is transformative. Sadly, not everyone will embrace the truth. But then truth really doesn’t care about your feelings.