—By Rebecca Witherspoon, August 24, 2019
“What you do is supposed to serve as the tangible proof of what you believe …”
—Simon Sinek, “Start With Why”
“For every bad decision, for every bad outcome, for every negative result that has happened in your life there is one common denominator—YOU! YOU were present for every bad choice made in your life.”
—Lou Garcia
“Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.”
—Anthony Robbins, “Awaken the Giant Within”
Okay, time to be 100% honest. Have you done or begun to do ANY of the exercises I assigned during this 7-day series? If not, I want you to ask yourself, “Am I ready to do ANYTHING necessary to achieve my dreams?” If you have not at least begun to do the exercises I’ve assigned then you either do not yet want to achieve your dreams, you haven’t clearly identified your dreams, or you don’t have a strong enough WHY for taking the necessary actions to achieve your dreams. So then the question is which one of those reasons is the truth in your specific case?
This episode is going to go directly to the heart of WHY it’s so important to develop a winning mindset, why you are even watching this series of live videos, why you want to do whatever it is you want to do, and why you haven’t already done it. I touched briefly on today’s topic in my previous videos. Today we will delve deeper into it.
“Why are some people and organizations more innovative, more influential, and more profitable than others? Why do some command greater loyalty from customers and employees alike? Even among the successful, why are so few able to repeat their success over and over?” Simple answer is that those who succeed in achieving their goals are those who know exactly what they want and have an incredibly strong why (aka reason or purpose) for achieving those goals.
Examples of highly successful people and companies who knew exactly what they wanted to accomplish and had a very strong WHY include
- The Wright brothers
- Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Harley-Davidson
- Henry Ford
- Walt Disney
- Elon Musk
- And many, many more!
Most things we do throughout our life we do with virtually no thought given to why we are doing them. If something isn’t all that important to us then we typically choose not to go out of our way for it. But, if something is perceived to be of great value to us, then somehow we find a way to get it no matter what obstacles stand in our way. Think of the toddler who has yet to fully master walking and yet finds a way to move across a room to obtain that toy they so desperately want, all the while navigating obstacle after obstacle in their way. Another example might be, have you ever tried to get your child to clean their room and it’s like trying to get a sloth to win a race? Ain’t gonna happen. Tell them they aren’t going to be able to get that new video game, or won’t be able to do something they really want to do, and voila, it’s like magic. The room is suddenly spotless. When we have a strong enough why, we find a way. When we don’t have a strong enough why, we find an excuse why not.
Do you remember talking with a young child and asking them to do something and they start asking why to virtually every response you give them? That kid-tested and kid-abused question, why? Why? WHY? is actually a pretty powerful question to ask. Answering that question can help you discover that you don’t even know why you bought a particular thing, or watched a particular thing, or ate a particular thing, or are doing a particular thing. In fact, you may find that you don’t have any clear reasons for many of things that you do in your life. In other words, you’re essentially floating through life reacting to everything that comes your way rather than proactively choosing what happens in your life. Life controls you rather than you control your life. I don’t know about you, but I got tired a long time ago with not having control of my life.
If you have no clear answer to the question why, then it’s probably time to stop and take a hard look at why you don’t know why! I know that’s a silly sounding statement but I wanted it to really stick out in your mind so you wouldn’t forget it.
What stops you from starting that new business you’ve wanted for years? Why do you keep putting off losing that extra weight? Why haven’t you taken control of your financial investment portfolio? Why can’t you get yourself to do the things you know you need to do to create the life you’ve dreamed of having? You feel frustrated, overwhelmed, and even angry with yourself because you already know what you need to do, but you just can’t seem to get yourself to take the actual action necessary. This begins a cycle of self doubt, depression, and a sense of feeling unworthy, or any number of other very negative and self-destructive emotions.
As Tony Robbins says in his book Awaken the Giant Within, “Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.” Most people who want to accomplish things in life but take little, if any, action to achieve their dreams have decided that it’s more painful to try to achieve the dream than it would be pleasurable to have the dream. As a result, they never go for their dream. What kind of pain might be holding them back? Fear of failure. Fear of looking like a fool. Fear of not being good enough. The pain of having to give something up. Fear of rejection. The list goes on. For most people, their fear of loss is much greater than their desire for gain.
So with these daunting and bleak truths, how do we overcome our natural tendency to avoid pain so that we can achieve our dreams? It’s a simple answer, but not necessarily easily implemented.
So I asked you near the beginning of tonight’s episode to be honest and answer the question if you had completed or even begun any of the 4 previous exercises I assigned you in previous episodes of this series. I’m going to assume that many of you either have not completed or not even begun them, although I do know of a few of you who have indicated to me that you have. All four of the exercises actually lead into tonight’s tool, finding your WHY. Each of the previous exercises is a piece of the puzzle that helps to reveal why you want to do whatever it is you are wanting to do. Maybe you want to start a new business. Maybe you already have a business but you feel stuck and are at a loss for how to kick yourself and your business into higher gear. Maybe you have tried multiple things to try to lose weight and nothing seems to work for you and you’re frustrated and wondering why even try.
I don’t know what it is you are specifically wanting to accomplish, but I do know this. Becoming crystal clear about what you want to do is absolutely necessary, because without a clear end goal, you have no target at which to aim. As, if not more, important is WHY you want to do whatever it is you want to do. If it’s less painful in your mind to sit back and do nothing than it is to achieve your desired end goal, then you will never reach your goal. On the other hand, if you ever want to achieve your end goal, then your why must become so powerful that it becomes more painful to sit back and do nothing than it is to do the things you know you need to do to achieve your goal.
Everyone is different and everyone’s why is going to be unique to them. If you are married and your spouse is wanting the same goal as you, chances are extremely high that their why will be different than your why. Same goal, different whys for wanting the same goal. They say that desperation is a strong motivator (aka why) for becoming successful in a new business. They also say, and I can definitely attest to this one, that comfort breeds complacency and a lack of urgency to achieve a desired goal.
I don’t know what your situation is, what your end goal is, or why you want that end goal, but I do know this. If … you … ever … want … to … reach … that … end … goal, then … you … must … have … a … very … clear … and … very … powerful … why … for … going … for … it. Otherwise, you will have nothing to sustain you when you come up against obstacles along your path. You will run out of fuel halfway to the target. You will become distracted by life which will knock you off your path. If you want to be able to push through the hard times that will come as you journey toward your goal, you must discover your true WHY for even starting the journey.
So how do you discover what your why is? DO the exercises I previously assigned you. And that’s my action step for you tonight. I want you to decide once and for all that you are worth sacrificing a little bit of your time to sit down and discover
*What you want (dreams and vision);
*Why you want it (what’s your why);
*What steps you will need to take to get what you want (setting goals); and then
*Remind yourself daily what you want, when you want it, and why you want it (affirmations)
Thank you for being a part of my journey and allowing me to be a part of yours. If you’re open to learning more about this and other topics that could help move you more quickly toward your desired goals, please email me at rwitherspoon608@yahoo.com.
Musings By Rebecca 
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